Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
sex in a hospital.. check
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
