Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
