Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just pee around me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
