Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
