just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
