turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
