Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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