My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
