there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
