I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
