U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
