Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
