Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
