i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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