the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
