she was so not down for the gang bang
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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