You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
