That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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