he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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