I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
