If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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