Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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