He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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