end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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