Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
