woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
