Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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