and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
