Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
