Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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