We need to rekindle our bromance
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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