I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
