this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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