Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
