suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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