There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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