He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the day after is always just damage control
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
