I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
