doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
