i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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