then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
