I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
