ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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