it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
