Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
