Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
