i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
