I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
