Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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