I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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